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Originally Posted by Mama_K
We are adopting our nephew he was in foster care for 4 1/2 months until we realized we could do Kinship care. M was placed with us within a month and the bp rights were TPR's in May. The fp called every two weeks to see him. We had to keep telling them M needed to bond with us, we had every intension of letting them see him, until they continued calling and even driving by our house. (we live 1hr away) We feel now we are being harassed, and it's real creepy to look out your window and see them driving by slowly. We live in the country and we don't have alot of traffic so they're easy to spot. I know they are great fp and really wanted to adopt M, I know they love him and only want the best for him but there behavior speaks volumes to us.
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Have you thought about calling them, and offering to build a relationship with them? It's clear they really love M and want to be a part of his life---and that is great. There's actually no evidence that kids bond to a new family better when they are forced to separate totally from a previous family. Instead, there is lots of evidence that having the same people in their lives over a long period of time, even if those people are in different roles, prevents attachment problems and psychological trauma.
You might be doing M a huge favor, if you could find some role for his fparents in his life. And it might help them as well, if they could transition into being "godparents" or "aunt and uncle" instead of "mom and dad" to M. They could accept your role, you could accept their presence in M's life, and M would benefit by not losing any of you.