[lhutton]

Wow! This sounds like a complicated case. I have had success using a custom made book to help children transition in and out of my home. The text of the book varies according to the child's needs but contains these primary features: give information about what is happening and why, identify how you think the child might feel during the transition, and provide appropriate coping strategies the child can use during the transition. For example, I wrote a book for one child which included the following information (paraphrased):

The child had been living with a mother who loved her a lot and had taken good care of her as a baby. However, lately her mother had been sad and had been crying a lot. She was so sad she didn't have enough energy to take care of her children or clean the house. When parents are having trouble taking good care of their children, a judge might decide they should go to foster care for a while. (etc. etc.) It can be scary to go to a new house to live with people you don't know. It can be confusing because you don't know the rules and have trouble finding things. (etc. etc.) If you get scared you can hold your teddy bear from your birth home, come talk to me, look at your photo album of pictures of your birth family.

You can illustrate this book with photographs and/or clip art. You can use a similar technique to talk about why the child will no longer have contact with her birth mother.

I hope this helps. I've found it has really made a difference for a number of children in my care.