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Was your son present for this exchange? Rather than respond or interject into their conversation, I think I would definitely have checked to see if my child heard the conversation and what her reaction was.
If I notice my DD paying attention then I might have addressed the conversation with her to let her know that I consider myself her "REAL" mother even if I was not her "biological" mother and hug my child, then explain that the swim instr. had misused that phrase. I may even have said it loud enough that they might hear my exchange and realize how their comments could hurt others??? ( but more than likely I would just make sure that DD knows how to understand what she "hears" because it will happen)
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