[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Originally Posted by thanksgivingmom

It frustrates me that Leigh should be expected to ask what she possibly (allegedly) did in the first place. That Supergirl's parents can't be adult enough to explain the "why's" of this decision more clearly.

Please know that this isn't pointed at any of the adoptive parents posting here - or at anything you've said really. It's just that sometimes it becomes TOO MUCH to hear what you've allegedly done wrong...it takes me back to when my first visit kept getting pushed back and back and back. It's always something we did....whether it REALLY is or not, you know? It's a lot to have put on you.

Thank TM for that explanation. I think I understand a little better now.

Please know, Leigh, that no one "expects" you to ask. And TM is correct in that all explanations for their actions should have been given when you were told what their decision was. It was only suggested, I believe, so that you could defend yourself from whatever trangression they believe has been made (if any.....because who knows why they decided what they did) and maybe make things right. It is not always your job to make things right though and TM's post made me understand how it could feel that way. That it all rests on your shoulders and is alot to bear.

Until OAs are made legally enforceable there is always going to be so much pain for birthmothers and their children and even for aparents whose children's birthparents don't keep up their end of the agreement either. What do we do?