[Vogi2002]

Leigh - ALLOW yourself to be angry (not that you have any choice probably), because you have a right to be, and you need to allow yourself to go through the stages, as I'm sure this is very traumatic for you.

Have you written them back demanding for more explanation? I would write back and ask them to attend a mediator / counseling session with you (without supergirl of course). Don't allow this to be easy for them, challenge them & what they are saying, ask for specifics, ask them to talk to you, tell them that there are more ways that you can "cut back" before making the drastic decision to just CLOSE. I would be respectful, reinforcing the fact that THEY are the parents (okay I almost gagged when I wrote that, but THEY need to hear this from you, and sadly your only choice may be to stroke thier ego / confidence). Can you contact the agency you placed her with? Can they help you at all?

ASK them what YOU did, ask them why they are going to such extremes without trying many things in between this. How old is she? I don't know...even if my little boy / girl said they didn't want to visit thier bparents I would dig down with them, ask them why...it might be the fact that she DOES miss you & it's hard to see you go. That doesn't mean to STOP visits!! That would call for MORE visits, or for you to talk to her IMO!!

((((((huge hugs again)))))))

Sorry I'm just throwing things out there that might help you....

I'm so angry for you. How could they do this to you? No, most importantly how could they do this to thier CHILD!?! HOW!? Open adoption is for HER benefit....we as aparents have to deal ourselves with our emotions, not make our children pay for our selfishness (and believe me we all have selfish thoughts every now and then).