[akcskye]

Well, I took the OP in the context of adult to adult...other adults telling the adoptive parents the children should be grateful or lucky, yada yada.

I would NEVER tell my children they should be grateful...but when they thank me for being a good mom, I can't help not to hug them and tell them "that's what a moma does"...so it's nice to hear it, and I don't think a child should be stifled from saying thanks.

You know?

I mean, I realize in a perfect world, I would be child-less right now. But, the world is not perfect, so it is nice sometimes to hear others that speak in positive light about what we've done...perhaps they'll consider the same thing.

My kids were 9 and 10 when adopted...they weren't babies...with the statistics of aging out so high...at those ages...not many would have considered them...so in that respect, yes they were lucky...but not for having to be in the situation in the first place.

If any of my clarification makes sense. haha

Originally Posted by dpen6

as an adoptee when I was told I "should be grateful in made me feel "less Then" as a child.

Every child desreves a roof over their head and food in their belly. If you are going to put an extra dose on gratefullness on a child just because they are adopted, or adopted internationally I say we all that have bio children do the same thing. But we don't do that, because it is a given that because they were born they will get the basics. THEN they can go on to be ungrateful for other things. Having 5 of my own I see that happening!!! LOL.

We should ALL be grateful for having good parenting, and I am. But let me figure that out for myself. Your children will figure it out for themselves. They DONT need to be told..."see, thats what you COULD have lived with...aren't you LUCKY" Its demeaning.

Yes, all children need to learn gratitude, but not because because of their adopted status.

You would not tell a born to you child..see, your lucky you are breathing because you could have died. Its the same thing.