|
Hi. I'm 42. At eight I ws told I was adopted and my bio mom died while giving birth to me. I was never allowed to ask pertinent origin questions; otherwise, it was met with hostility, insecurity and anger, which caused great fear and insecurity to me. At 16, during a heated argument, my adoptive mom told me that my bio mom didn't die at birth and that I had a sibling out there, which caused even greater damage to me and feelings of betrayal of trust. I still wsa not permitted to ask pertinent questions.
AT 23 yrs old, I found out thr some friends I worked with that I was a ward of the county and that's who acted as my adoption agency, and also non-identifying information after writing away for it. two years later, estranged from my adoptive parents, I began the search, with some help from my foster mother who still had my hospital ID baby braclet w/my mom's name on it (26 years later). Found her in 6 months - positive reunion. Met entire family, siblings, cousins, etc. That was in 1992. There were gaps in her story and because I am a "truth freak," I did some research on my own and was granted by a probate court judge to review my adoption and ward of county files, being that my original birth certificate was signed by my bio mom then. They wouldn't let me copy the files but just ask questions and they'd pull papers pertinent to questions asked. Weird liability issues. In 2004, I was connected to social services who mailed me a 1/2" thick package of all the notes of social workers assigned to my case, from birth to foster care, which brought a lot of answers to simple questions I had, as well as truth that my mothers had not been so truthful about. It brought closure and peace to me, because I know that God alone did that for me.
My suggestion to you is PRAY, take one day at a time, enjoy your baby, and put this on the back burner for now. Be honest and open but only answer questions that are asked and nothing more. You always want to protect your child from hurtful things, but as an adult, they can handle it. Always check your motives and intents. Let your child always know how special he/she is and chosen to be loved. Bless them, pray for them, and entrust them into the Father's care, as they're ours only for a short amount of time to guide and teach them about Him and His purpose for them.
Take care!
|