[jalapeno]

It's really been an interesting experience for me trying to work out a balance and thanks for all the responses so far. I certainly agree with others that it is first and foremost my childrens' story to tell. But it will be years before they can articulate any sort of opinion with regards to how much information to share and in what manner. And I want to be able to help guide them in that journey. And I want to gain some experience dealing with others on this issue so that I can give them good options for how to respond when people ask questions. For myself, I don't think I ever bring up the topic outside of immediate family and several very close friends who've also adopted. It's just not anybody's else business - particularly the details of my kids' histories. And I'm a relatively private person anyway. But it's also not a secret and I don't want my kids to ever get the impression that it is. I've discovered that I really hate lying about it on any level. My boys are so close in age that people often assume they're twins. I used to just go along with it with people I didn't know (if they happened to actually ask). Just to simplify the conversation. But I don't do that anymore - not because I care whether they actually know the truth but because I don't feel like I should be forced to lie just because some random person happened to ask a question. Of course there are times when my answer to the question being asked is "none of your business". The other thing is that my kids' will each likely have different opinions from each other as to how much they want to talk about their adoptions. And I'm sure they'll change their own minds depending on their mood and experience. So I fully expect to tweak my own approach as the years progress.