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Originally Posted by RobinKay
My youngest also has his "birthmother" the woman who gave birth to him. Now that is her connection to him, the only connection. Someday maybe they will be friends also, but there is no mother-child bond/relationship anymore.
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Well my thoughts are that if your child's birthmother made the responsible decision to place him or her with a loving family, well then yes they were the first mother in his or her life, and you are now the second. Does that mean we are second best? Heck no...it's just an order.
Also - I will say that I do not know your child's story, but to say there is and never will be a mother-child bond is way harsh. I mean I KNOW my son will always have a certain bond with his birthmother that I will (nor will WANT) to replace. Thier bond is thiers, it doesn't mean he won't bond with me either, it just means he has a bond with her that is special to them.
It's like having two kids...you bond with both, and your bond is different...but the same. KWIM?
I do personally despise natural mother...only because it does make me feel less than natural....like that is the mother they were SUPPOSED to have...and while (naturally - nature - speaking) that may be so...I have a strong faith that my kids were MEANT to be my kids.
I also don't like REAL mom but alas most of the world uses that so I can't get upset. Most of them aren't intentional.