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You don't tell your son "we're going to adopt so-and-so." You say, "So-and-so is coming to stay with us for a little while. Her family can't take care of her, so we are going to take care of her while her bmom and bdad take care of their problems."
If she goes home, well.....that was always the plan. It will be sad, but not unexpected. If it gets past TPR, then you can tell your son, "Her bmom and bdad just couldn't fix their problems, so we are going to adopt her into our family. Adoption means forever, and we are going to be her mom and dad as well as yours."
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