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The first comment two weeks ago was from a friend of the birthfamily commenting to our son on how he had his "Daddy" beat with how handsome he is. (the grandma was right there as well).
I did let that one pass, but I boiled over it for the next week. Angry with myself that I didn't correct her and wondering how I should go about setting some boundaries with the birthgrandma (the birthfathers mother) to make sure she knows what the appropriate adoption language is for our son.
The very next week at a visit with his grandma she did the same things. She made a comment to our son on how much he looked/acted like his "Daddy".
My son is 3 1/2. He didn't correct her because the only DADDY he knows is my husband. He had no idea she was talking about his birthfather. Not that he even knows his birthfather. He's only seen him twice in his life.
This time I still didn't know what to say or how to go about it but I knew I couldn't just ignore it again. So I basically told her "DS will only know his birthfather by his first name or by the term birthdad/birthfather. My DH is the only one he knows as Daddy and it will be less confusing for him that way."
She looked a little suprized/embarresed and I'm not sure wether it hurt her feelings or not. I'm sure it upsets her, since that is her son (that I was basically demoting from Daddy to first name basis). Not that I feel he's any less important to my son...but no he's not his Daddy either.
I felt a little bad about it afterwards. Wishing we had discussed all that before but I'm glad I finally spoke up when I did and hopefully we won't have any more problems.
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