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Old 07-29-2008, 03:28 AM
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Janeytwo Janeytwo is offline
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Hey Carolyn,

First I wanted to say that from your postings you sound like a wonderful daughter; the kind a mom would be proud to "show off". :-)

I think Kathy has a good point; families ebb and flow. And she's right also; our children who've always been with us - as they grow and become parents themselves - they become less involved with us and more involved with their spouse and their children and their life in that regard. Wise words Kathy.

You asked if I think of my daughter and son as my own children. Yes. I do. I say that without any hesitation. They are my children. Not that I don't also understand that their parents are their parents and that they think of them as blood before me and surely always will. I know that too and respect it greatly.

But you see, I am a child of divorce. My parents have both been married 3 times each. I have many half-brothers/half-sisters/stepbrothers/stepsisters; some of whom did not come into my life until I was in my forties. I love them all though and make no distinctions.

I believe modern times has changed the perception and description of what a nuclear family is and for those of us who've experienced that first-hand there's an understanding that a person has to have a wide view of what "family" means.

Not saying anyone in here doesn't. I'm just speaking from my own experience.

I do know though that my children will probably be different than I am in their opinions; their likes and dislikes; their politics; religion; all the big stuff issues. I did joke to someone that I pray my kids weren't adopted by Pat Robertson! LOL! But if they were.....well....I shall just have to find some common ground there.

But even if they never want to see me; even if they hate me and turn their back; they will always be my children. If they needed me I woud go through hell and highwater to help them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is. I don't see them as being less than my daughters who are with me. But I also understand that I can't possibly have the same relationship with them because they will have their own history; their own family; their own understanding of who they are.

I hope I've made some sense.

Wishing you a great day!

Janey
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