[kakuehl]

Carolyn, D is mine and he isn't mine, does that make sense? I feel an incredibly deep connection to him and I love him more than I can put into words. At the same time, I don't feel like his mother in the same way I feel like the mother of my other two. We've been in reunion about the same time as you and your mom. That's not very long together given the length of his life. (He's about 7 years younger than you are.) As time goes on, we build the common connections and memories. D and I do not contact each other that often. Sometimes that concerns me a little. But as you say, he's very busy (of course, I do nothing all day, lol.) He has 4 children, three of whom are toddlers! We do talk, mostly online. I stop in occasionally and get to spend some time with them. His mom is getting more comfortable with me, I think. (His dad has never felt threatened by me and both being pastors, we usually talk "shop.") The last time I spent time at D's his wife was away for a week and D's parents were there to help out. We had a nice afternoon.

I think what I'm trying to say is that families vary in closeness and as the reunion gets more comfortable its not unusual for the contact to become less frequent. I would still rather write than call too, by the way. I'm always afraid I'm interrupting. (Of course I feel that way when I call my other two, also.) Like you, it's hard to know what to say sometimes (also laughable considering my "gift of gab.")

My suggestion is to send her a note occasionally that says "thinking of you." I'm sure she treasures each contact!