DH and I are in somewhat of a sticky situation related to this topic. The emom chose us to adopt her baby but does not want the edad to know anything about the baby. In fact, he currently believes she is not even pregnant. I have tried to drill into her head that we MUST get his consent or the adoption will not go through, but now I fear she is going to run and move to another state (thinking this will ensure she never has to tell him). I have asked that she try to talk to him about his rights & get him to agree to the adoption but she won't. I told her that if she doesn't talk to him, the first he will know of this baby is when the state contacts him to sign TPR. Which I would imagine will only aggravate the situation & possibly he would not sign TPR simply b/c he was not told the truth in the beginning. They are both minors and his parents have said that THEY wanted to raise the baby IF she was actually pregnant. This is when the lies began
The emom does not want his family anywhere near the child.
My DH and I are now trying to decide if it is worth the aggravation and added stress this presents. I firmly believe that he has the same rights as she does (or should anyway) and that adoption is as much HIS decision as it is HERS.
We live in a putative registry state and I am sure he has no idea about that. But I know his name & have told our attorney EVERYTHING. So regardless of how she handles it, we are going to proceed in what we feel is the most ethical and moral way...even if it means in the end, we don't get to adopt the baby