[mommy2fiveplus]

I adopted my son when he was 2 1/2, he was previously my 2nd cousin, he had been my foster son since 13 mos.

I am young (26) and was only 20 when he came to live with us, but I am also a professional, mature, and fairly experienced bio, foster and adoptive mom. My issue is that my family (mostly extended) feel like he is community property and they should have some say in his upbringing. I feel like they should have the same amount of pull as any other extended family (which is little) and no more than they have with my other children.

They were not there during the "crisis period" they did not step up when push came to shove and he ended up in foster care, they did not become licesened to take him or transport him to weekly visits with drug addled bparents who either didn't show up or were to high to interact with him. They were not thier when he was diagnosed with multiple developmental delays due to severe early neglect. They did not hold him and cry wishing they could take on his burdens that no baby should have to carry. They are here now, after intense therapy to get him to where his peers are and now that he is a typical 6 year-old. And NOW they want to start telling me how I should raise him and what I should and should not allow him to do and who he should be allowed to see. Can they not see that I make the decsions I do because I love him and want him to be safe, secure and happy?

These same people do not have anything to say about how I raise my other 4 kids one of whom is also adopted. I love my family but a few of them are driving me crazy! Thankfully my mom and my grandparents (his bfathers grandparents as well) are super supportive and have no problem telling the rest of the family off.

I know I kind of "signed up" for this situation when we chose to bring him into our family but somehow I thought after 5 years it would be a little easier.

Does anyone else have this same problem with a relative adoption situation?