[adoptingourfirst]

I spoke with our agency on Friday and they had visited with her earlier that day. She said that she still wanted everything to be on hold for now, but that she had not made any decisions one way or the other.

I am trying...really trying to be patient and not give up hope, but this is truly a painful experience. It's the not knowing part that is killing us. If she hadn't been so adament about placing with us in the first place, I don't know if we would have gotten so attached. But we have and now the idea that it might not work out is just grueling.

I know she is going through a lot of emotions right now and that it is good for her to look at all of her options. I knew that the adoption path could be a bumpy one and that nothing is clear cut. It just still hurts.

Thank you all for your support, especially all of you birthmoms who have written me saying that you went through this same process. It helps me to hear that side of it. I can't begin to imagine how difficult a decision it is to make and I have to remember that whenever I start to get upset. You all are such a great source of strength and encouragement.