[mommamarci]

Both of my sons had fathers that were TPR'ed using the registry. I have very mixed feelings about it. I wish the fathers had been notified, but we cannot force the mothers to name them.

In the first adoption, bmom was engaged to bdad. But bdad did not want his name in any paperwork and asked her to put unknown the birth certificate and to let the registry TPR him. I feel at ease about that situation. He is a very private person and did not want us to know his full name. But, he was definitely aware. Bmom and dad have since married. He sees the updates we send.

Our second adoption, I know nothing about. Mom did not know she was pregnant until very late in the pregnancy. I am not sure if she even knows who the father is. She did not name and we have no contact so I cannot find out any additional info. That situation bothers me. I wish he knew. I wish he had been given the chance to parent if he wished.

I think the putative registry should be a very last resort. There has to be a last resort because sometimes people just seem to disappear. It is not fair to make aparents spend months and thousands of dollars trying to track down a person that disappeared. But, I think there should be a minimum amount of searching that must be done before resorting to the registry.

Just my $0.02!