[crick]

Is there something else you can give to her as a comfort item in place of the paci? Maybe a new stuffed animal or something that she picks out at the store?

I'm big on allowing for a comfort item, but if it's physically damaging or intefering with her speech then I would consider removing it.

You can remove that control battle by not answering her questions or serving her food while she has it in her mouth. Just ignore the crying etc. (not easy to do I know!) and she will learn that if she wants xx & yy, she can't have the paci in her mouth. I wouldn't hint at that but rather tell her "I cannot understand you and until you take the paci out of your mouth, I cannot listen to you."