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Okay, this is crazy. It is one thing to *ask* you if you have room for the sib. But to threaten to pull a medically fragile infant out of the only home she's ever known, just to place her with a half-sib she doesn't know?
This is nuts.
I think that if you really can't take the sib, it's time to take a hard line with DSS. First of all, don't let them bully you. Call their bluff---it is HIGHLY unlikely that they will find a fost-adopt home for two young children, one of whom has serious medical issues, very quickly. Actually, it's so difficult to find homes for medically fragile kids that I don't think they'll be able to find one at all.
THEN: you need to file for "intervenor" or "de facto parent" status, whatever it is called in your state. You have the legal right to this status, and it will allow you to submit information to the court about your baby's medical and psychological needs. The court needs to understand what removing this child means, and needs to grasp that if it removes the baby, another home that can provide such fabulous nursing care will have to be found. (You can also tell the court that the reason you can't take the sib is the high degree of nursing care this baby requires).
PM me if you want more information on how to file.
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