[carolynppk]

I maybe misreading something, but I just wanted to say, I was not in an open adoption. I was born in 1965 and did not find my bmom until 2005. She wrote my mother immediately and told her she did not want to take her place and respected my mother and said her prayers were answered to know I went to a wonderful family.

Kathy, regretfully, rejection I fear greatly. Even in saying "I" statements, I am afraid it would be a lot of stress for her. She may be doing everything she knows to show me she cares and by saying, "I feel like you have pulled away." it may be a feeling of what more can I do to show this person I care and it is just too much energy for me to deal with. Scary thought, so I will stick with being quiet and safe!!

Funny thing is, the more I tell her I love her and make sure she knows that. i.e. I tell her I love her, with all the people I have lost in my life, I would hate for there to be a day when I may have passed and she didn't know exactly how much she meant to me. When I do this she seems to back away more. SO I will just keep writing and letting her know that I will not go any where.

It helps to read others perspectives becasue even though it may not be what she is feeling, it opens my mind, eyes and heart to possibilities I never thought of.

Thank you one and all here. I appreciate your time, perspective and support.

Carolyn