[wlbooklady]

We had been in pretty close contact with my DS's birthmother, phone calls about once a month, pictures and letters, an annual visit (she lives out of state). Over the last few months, we're just not hearing from her. My son is 6, so this isn't a new adoption. May was Mother's day and my son's birthday; we tried calling repeatedly. Her house phone was disconnected and her cell never takes messages (I think it's one of those pay as you go deals). We had sent her a phone card. I was actually starting to worry that something had happened and called her mother, which I hate to do; her family has never supported the adoption and is civil to us, but not much more, and never very friendly with us or our son when we visit. Her mom said nothing was wrong and let her know we called. Tried again on the cell, got her but she said she was out and would call us back later but never did. It's now July. My question is, how do you know when to keep pursuing and when to just let it be for a while, and for how long should I wait?

On the one hand I'm frustrated; contact is usually very one-sided, we initiate, she rarely even sends DS a card for holidays. I know money is an issue, hence we sent her the phone card (the last time we sent her one she left her phone on or something and accidentally used up all the minutes, which was aggravating. I'm wondering if she even has the phone anymore and just doesn't want to tell us). Her sister is pregnant and I'm reading things into that -- maybe she's having issues and doesn't want to hear from us right now. But who knows, I could be completely wrong. I don't want to pester her and am frankly tired of always initiating, but I am clear I'm doing this for my son. So how long should I wait to try to contact her again? Would maybe a letter be better at this point? Thanks!