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Hi, my DS has FAS and mild epilepsy. You may well have to go through several epi meds (AEDs) before one is decent. But you're dealing with a tough thing. (My DS's seizures are on the dangerous side but very infrequent, so we don't medicate because the risks of meds outweigh the benefits in his case.)
Regarding the FAS diagnosis, of course it's extremely that your DD has it, but it's not necessarily an easy dx to make at her age. Did the neuro tell you exactly on what basis they have made the diagnosis, and which diagnostic manual they used? If it's more of a "subjective" diagnosis, they're probably still right (it could also be anything on the FASD spectrum, acting the same as FAS but without all or any of the physical features), but the birthmother's argument might have a leg to stand on...
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