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Originally Posted by xxsurroundedbyxy
She has found what works for her. Maybe she just cried and screamed for 5-10 minutes at first and when that didn't work the next time she added the kicking and pinching and tagged on another 5-10 minutes. When that didn't work after awhile she added the vomit and some more serious screaming for another 10-15 minutes.
Now she is a complete tantrum thrower and it lasts for 30+ minutes. HOWEVER....in the end....she still got what she wanted.
So, essentially, you have taught her to just keep on going no matter how long it takes.
It will take lots of nerve, willpower, and calm-headedness to overcome but you will have to ignore and clean-up silently and NOT give in. Pretty soon she will try it for 30 minutes and give up, then 20 minutes and give up, then 10 minutes and give up until finally she realizes that you actually mean what you say and will stop it altogether.
Good Luck!
Kim
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I agree-let the tantrum roll. Ignore ignore. I suggest that the child help with cleanup, however. Keep a "flat affect" show no reaction whatsoever as best you can.
We began using the "cool down room" at our school at my suggestion, based on a student I had at another school. The rampaging student is "helped" to the cool down room-a physicallly safe place-and is placed there with a non-reacting adult. Time is kept. The amount of time spent tantruming had to be "paid back" by good behavior in the cool down room to earn the right to return to classroom. It worked-children with very severe behaviors-the kind that required an ambulance-stopped tantruming at school and now can participate in regular ed. in the middle school.
I agree with other posters-put her in a safe place- and just let it run it's course. She'll get exhausted eventually, and her tummy will hurt from the throwing up. It's hard at first, truly, but you can do it. And it will get better. Not right away, but it will get better. If possible, have child help with cleanup of the puke or whatever damage/mess is made during tantrum. That helps too, and keep a flat affect during cleanup-resist the urge to discuss the tantrum.
Lastly, after all cleanup is done, and everyone is calm, discuss three things. 1. Why did the tantrum happen, 3. what was the result (hopefully child did not get what was wanted!) and 3. what can be done differently next time-use our words, wait our turn, etc.
Will be thinking of you--good luck!!