[SKL]

OK, as a single mom, lawyer, CPA, MBA, hiker, builder, and fixer extraordinaire, I am the last person who would agree with teaching our kids sexist messages.

However, I feel I must stick up for the in-laws on this one. I realize that I don't know them and they "may" be the type to hurt a DIL on purpose, but I don't think most people are like that.

First: there is a very good chance that they did not read the entire books before giving them to you. When I give a book as a gift, I usually don't read it. I might flip through a few pages, and if I like the pictures and the tone of what I see at first glance and the price isn't horrible, I will buy it.

Second: the book titles sound really sweet and I think it is so nice of them to think of buying two books, one for the "mom" side and one for the "dad" side. There are not that many examples of that. I happen to know a few, but that is because I am a kids' book junkie. Most people aren't.

Third: I assume they are older than you and, in a sense, from a different world. They most likely would have no idea you would find some of those statements offensive - especially since most of them happen to be true, if not complete, statements. Personally, only a few would raise my eyebrows. If they had not only said "a daddy __" but added "a mommy doesn't ___," that would be too much, but the way you wrote it, most of it is not per se offensive to me - and likely not to people in an older generation.

Fourth: unless I am certain that someone gave me a "gift" only to insult me, I would never say anything negative about it. They went out of their way to find two "matching" kiddy books and do not deserve to be punished for this.

Fifth: if you don't like the books, you can simply put them aside. Maybe even save them and tell your kids, when they are teens, why you did NOT read them - share a secret chuckle. Or donate them to a church after some time passes. I would NEVER return a gift just because I didn't enjoy its contents. You wouldn't do that if they gave you your most un-favorite kind of chocolate or bath-and-body lotion, would you?

The MIL-DIL relationship is complicated enough, and both sides tend to be very sensitive to every slight, real or imagined. I would suggest that taking open offense at an apparently innocent/kind gesture is not the best way to improve the relationship. But that's just my opinion.