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Oh Sweeie, first let me give you a ((HUG)). What your are feeling is 100% normal as far as how you are feeling about your aparents, especially if you had such a wonderful life with them. You must understand that searching for your birth family is your right and you have done nothing wrong and it has no reflection on them, how they parented you or how much you love them.
It is one thng to ponder, imagine and think about searching but you are right, when reality hits it is a whole different story with all the feelings and emotions that come with . Unless a person is an adoptee, there is no possible way for them to actually know how you feel not having the information about YOUR life that comes so natural for others.
As afr as your Bmom goes, it is understandable for her to want to make up for lost time and want to cram it all at you at once and of course her raised children are going to feel it. Just like your aparents are sort of feeling "left out" or maybe set aside having to share you with bmom.
There is really nothing you can do to fix things exception communicate with them and explain to them just as you have here. As an adoptee myself I know all too well of wanting "make things right" and keep everyone happy. All you can do is let aparenst know that they will always be your parents and you love them and reassure them that because bmom is now in the picture does not change the love you have for them.
I can only imagine how difficult this is for you feeling as though you are in the middle of all this. Just know that you are not responsible for making people's live right and this is something that you needed to do for you. It wasnb't as though you set out to purposly hurt people or inflict pain on them.
This reunion stuff is so complex because it involves feelings and emotion we never thought possible. It is very important to set boundries too because renuinion quite often (almost always) brings with it expectations and many times one or both parties can be needy and over bearing.
now the bsibling would take an entire post of their own especially if they do not know about you or have just found out about you and all of a sudden their mother is placing all her attention on this new person.
It is undertandable that your bsiblings feel lied to and somewhat betrayed. It happened to me too with my bsisblings.
You do not say how long you have been reunited, but right now the best thing to do would be to slow down and give the bsibs time to let it all sink in. Again, you are not responsible for their reaction or their relationship with bmom. Rememeber that YOU were the one that grew up depreived of your birthright, not them, not your bmom and not your aparents.
I am certain that you will recieve alot more grat advice here.
EZ
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