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Originally Posted by mom2justynsarah
Adoptive parents have no legal right until the birthmother signs the papers (and in some cases, until the adoption is finalized).
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As p/aparents, long before we ever are "matched" through an agency, we have the legal right not to enter into a relationship with an adoption agency that would ask us to do things we aren't comfortable with or that we see as potentially unethical.
As p/aparent, we have the legal right to not enter into a "match" based on the terms of said match, which may include paying expenses for the expecting mother before or after birth. In the case described by the OP, to me, this is the one that got them. They could have turned down a match where they questioned these expenses, but instead, acc to the OP went ahead and paid them so that the placement would happen. It seems to me that the whole question of whether or not these expenses should have been paid, whether or not the agency should have requested these expenses would be moot if the p/aparents would have worked through it before the match and placement took place. And if that wasn't possible then maybe then maybe they shouldn't have moved forward in this situation. But they did move forward so even though now it may seem they have no rights, they did have rights at the time the decision was made.
And to the OP, as for who to report an agency to, there's always the BBB I guess. But your friends should remember that they did participate by paying the monies.