I respectfully disagree. Adoptive parents have no legal right until the birthmother signs the papers (and in some cases, until the adoption is finalized). Yes, there are quite a few unsavory and unethical adoption agencies around. They prey on unsuspecting and vulnerable adoptive parents. So yes, adoptive parents really must do their homework. All I have to say (and I have said it many times before) be aware of the laws in the state in which your child was born. They will dictate the rights of the aparents and birthparents.
My daughter was born in California. We live in S. Florida. So we had an interstate adoption. California is pro birthparent (ESPECIALLY Birthmother), and Florida is pro adoptive parent. Thankfully because of our savy and very experienced lawyer (in Florida), she added a few extra legal steps that our daughter's bparents had to sign BEFORE we took our daughter home with us. This was a step to terminiate their rights in California BEFORE finalization. However, even after three years, if Dee really wanted to make my life miserable, she technically can (because of the state of California). I can explain privately if interested.
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Originally Posted by Linny
I'll tell you.....I think adoptive parents DO have SOME Rights......but they really need to do their homework before they select an agency, in order to know what they can/can't do.
I give this info out so many times on several boards. Some people think it's good; others don't. But........I always advise new paps to fully consider that adoption is (sadly) a business. And, many adoption agencies will ask for expenses up front; further, they'll also expect you to pay for birthmother expenses. If you're not comfortable with doing either of those---DON'T. Go find another agency. There ARE agencies that DON'T ask for tons of monies up front; and, there are states and situations that don't expect or require tons of monies for birthmother expenses.
It's good to consider that once that money's gone...it's GONE. It should never be paid as as reason to get a baby...because the agency, nor the birthfamily has to look at that money that way. (And, why would you want the money to a birthfamily to look that way?)
As for us personally, we refuse to pay huge amounts of money to an agency OR a birthmother. Because of this, we've had to turn down situations. But, because of this, we've been able to keep our own money and wait for a situation we can afford. It takes longer, I agree....but we know where the money's going and to whom it's going to.
I'm all for agencies.....but you really have to do your homework in order to know which ones to work with, and which to stay away from.  (And there are a lot to stay away from......)
Sincerely,
Linny |