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Originally Posted by GeorgiaGrl
As an example, we have friends whose agency has charged them with things they don't agree with (e.g., paying $ to help the bmom "on her way" after she gets out of prison someday). They paid the $ at the time because they wanted their daughter. The agency then pushed back the adoption finalization for reasons they never made clear. It just shocks me that my friends don't seem to have any recourse.
--Bridget
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I'm not a big defender of agencies as a whole. There are good ones that seem to work with the best interest of the parties involved. They seem to be few as far as I can tell. There are also bad ones who seem to prey on people who desperately want to have a child in their family and the mothers who are struggling with decisions about an unexpected pregnancy.
I may be in the minority here but I believe (and it's just MY OPINION) it is the potential adoptive parents job to make sure the agency with whom they choose to work is ethical, not only financially but in the way they counsel expecting parents considering adoption.
If an agreement was signed with general agreements about "birthmother expenses" and the p/aparents choose to pay them without determining the details of what the agency is expecting, I wouldn't think they have any recourse. I don't know what is legal in their state regarding any expecting/birth mother expenses. Here (in Alberta, Canad), all of these kind of expenses are against the law so it is a safeguard for ALL involved. We don't have to make decisions about paying dollars for questionable practices. I know this practice is not unheard of... whether it is ethical or legal I don't know. But the aparents chose to work with the agency who had this practice.
And it is also the responsibility of paparents to act in an ethical manner themselves. IF your friends went ahead and paid this money "just to get their daughter" (as you stated) I would say they have some if not alot of responsibility in this matter. Of course, the agency should do their part to make sure those they work with understand what they're doing, but there is no guarantee. "Getting a child" at all costs, and with little consideration for whether or not they are doing "the right thing" is one of the things that makes adoption a questionable practice, at least as it stands today, to many people.
I would imagine that they are stuck for these expenses since they chose to pay them without questioning it back then. Maybe they did question it, but they still paid it.
As for the finalization, often the agency has nothing to do with the timeline, unless they are holding up the paperwork which may or may not be with good cause.
The bottom line to me is this... yes, p/aparents have rights, more than anyone else IMO. They choose to work with certain people to bring a child in their family. Usually the agency is looking out for the p/aparents because they're the one paying. P/aparents have every right to say "no" if they see questionable practices. They have every right to turn down a situation if it doesn't fit with what they think is right. And they could contest the charges if they want. It is their right.
As for whether or not aparents are "foster" parents until finalization, this is for the most part, true. Agencies are actually the legal guardians of the child until the adoption is final.