[julie23]

we have had our baby since the moment she was born and she is now 3.5 months old... this is a relative adoption and the birthmother is very happy with her choice...

the birthfather has expressed his desire to raise the baby... at this point it is not a disrupted adoption... it is not even a contested adoption... he is responsible to file papers with the court and he has not done so, therefore the adoption is continuing...

my cousin absolutely does not want the birthfather to have the baby.... i think this is fairly common among birthmothers... they have chosen an adoptive family and a better life for their baby, and don't want that disrupted... and the baby ending up with the birthfather...

at this point, we are just waiting for him to do what he has to do... one step at a time...

but i have just heard from family... my OWN family... and the birthmothers family.... that there is an opinion among family members who do NOT even speak to me or the birthmother... that the birthfather has a right to this baby...

now... what bugs me the most, is that these people are gossiping about me... which is common amongst them... and it is really annoying that they are commenting on something they know NOTHING about... they don't even speak to me.... they know NOTHING about adoption... or how any of this works ... but they have an opinion....

we are in a very difficult situation... if the birthfather disrupts the adoption, the birthmothers rights kick back in and then THEY have to fight for custody of the baby... in the meantime, the baby has completely attached to me... and will be at high risk for attachment disorders if she is moved... and if somehow, he does get the baby, she will grow up without any contact from her biological mother (geography, bad feelings, and money would cause this)... and that just breaks my heart to no end....

it is all so sad... instead of being supportive... these people are nothing but critical and judgmental...

i wish i could just shake it off.... but it gets under my skin...

j