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Monster, I am an a parent in an OA, and I have to say that I don't think the aparents handled this well at all!!!! They should have given you a heads up, asked whether you could make it to the party, etc. without putting you on the spot like that. It kind of makes me mad, to tell you the truth.
I think you should talk with her a parents about what is going on. If you feel comfortable going to the party, great! Maybe you would prefer a more intimate setting, I don't know! And if you are not ready for a visit right now, that's OK too....I think kids are more "understanding" than they are given credit for and she is old enough to understand how far away (geographically) you are. I do think it is so sweet that your DD wants you at her party!
Good luck!!!! Karen
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