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When is the party? Do you have some time to weigh this out? On the one hand, I can totally understand your fears about this. And coming out of nowhere, I would feel blindsided by it all (who wouldn't?). But I would also be concerned about how my daughter might feel in this as well. Can you talk to her parents and express your concerns to them? If it's a 24 hour drive, and you have no other way of getting there and/or if it is a very short notice, I think you can gracefully decline in a way that your daughter could understand, without feeling rejected. If you decide to go this route and not attend, I would definitely send a card with an update and picture(s). Maybe you can open the communication this way to re-establish what you had before with the more regular updates.
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