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Originally Posted by BethanyB
But foster parents are there to love and raise children until they can be reunified with their bio families. That is our job. Its not our job to judge whether the family member can properly take care of the baby. That is the judges job and I have a feeling that some of the facts we have been given here have been stretched a bit. Not by the OP but by her friend. The judges job is to take everything into consideration and Im sure he did. Its normal to feel anger and sadness when losing a foster child that you hoped to adopt but the child deserves to be with its family if at all possible. And the judge thought it was possible.
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Uh huh . . . and none of us have seen judges make bad decisions or send children back into horrible family situations. And as the foster parent I'm just supposed to smile and say "Well, that's the judges job so I guess it is okay".
Yes, we are foster parents and yes it is drilled into our head that the children are not ours and yes we are supposed to whole heartedly, without complaint, and (apparently opinion) support reunification but I do have feelings and a mind and I can evaluate whether a biofamily member has the resources and skills to raise the child that I have been raising. I am disappointed by the many comments on this thread that suggest that the foster mother is so overcome with emotion that she is not speaking rationally or can't see the picture clearly. In her situation I would definitely be sad, and disillusioned but it wouldn't affect my ability to think or reason.
I don't know about the judges in other states but the ones in my county don't always make the best decisions and the children are the ones that suffer.
I don't know whether this 70 year old grandmother has the resources to raise this child but for me the disappointment in reading this thread has been the quickness with which many posters invalidated the foster parent's comments to her friend in favor of the biofamily.