[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Originally Posted by anniesr

If you decide you cannot parent these boys and your other children then the best you can do is work closely with the caseworker to find a better placement (preferably without other children) where the brothers will not be disrupted again. However, please try not to let them become shuffled through the system similar to what happens with so many other little boys.

Best of luck,
Anne

This is SO not the foster parent's job. You can make recommendations on what you feel the child needs, but from experience and others who share on here, I can say that they rarely listen. They are swamped and just move them wherever they can with the person who says yes first. The OP will have no control over whether these boys are "shuffled through the system" or split. I requested that my FS be placed in a home with no other children or maybe 1 other child close in age or slightly older and the laughed at me. I believe their exact words were "If a house like that existed, we would have tried there first. That will not happen as our homes in this county are full." He went to two homes for overnight "trial" stays before landing in the third home who said they would take him. The first home, he was child number #8. The second home, he was child number #10. SO obviously, they did not take my recommendations into consideration or that of his therapists. They just started calling and the shuffle began. I had no control over it. In the home he was moved to and stayed in, he is child #4-7 depending upon when I call or visit. We have kept in contact and actually, he spent the night with us last night. He is having some of the same problems in his new home and we have offered respite but no more than once a month as that is all our boys can handle of him.


Mama-2-3:
Do not feel guilty. You have to protect your own children while being available to help other children. Not every placement will be a good fit and you knew this one was not early on. Give the CW as much info as you can about what you have learned about these two boys and pray that the CW will listen and find them a more suitable placement. I will say a prayer for you, for them, and for your poor little one who will now be a little leery of new kids in the house....I know because my 2 yr old is now.


Kim