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Originally Posted by tiredofwaiting
Hi,
My husband and I have gone through 7 yrs of infertility and then tried domestic adoption. A couple of months ago we had a failed domestic adoption. It was heartbreaking. We have gone through all our savings trying to have a child. I know our story is pretty common. My husband wants us to try foster care. He says this would at least give us a chance to have a child in our lives if even for a short time and maybe we will be able to adopt a foster child at some point. I wonder if there is anyone else who has gone into foster care after infertility and trying domestic adoption? I am wondering if we are the only ones who are trying it after not be successful with domestic.
thanks
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I am so sorry to hear of your challenges trying to have your family.
You may want to scroll down to a thread called Foster parents/relative adoption on the Foster Parent support forum. The discussion got pretty heated.
It seems many people look to foster adopt to have a family, and it often works out. However, often the foster family becomes very very attached to the child/children and then has trouble supporting a move back to the child's family. Relatives can step forward during the process and things get complicated and take a long time. During that time you are bonding and loving the children. Lack of communication with the social worker adds another layer of confusion and stress.
I share this as my husband and I were the relatives that came forward for our nephew and the foster parents treated us very badly and tried to interfere with the process. We have lil guy and adopted one month, six days later. The foster parents were so upset they decided to stop fostering, according to their agency.
So, my long-winded point--I am thinking you would be wonderful foster parents and there are likely children out there just waiting for you. Perhaps together you will be a forever family. Just please remember there may be an aunty and uncle working hard to bring a child home, and the social worker not communicating that to you. Guard your hearts just that little bit, perhaps be open to talking about the child's family if the child is old enough to have memories about them.
I hope you decide to take this next step. I will be thinking of you, and hope to hear about your experiences.