[xxsurroundedbyxy]

I would hold out a little longer. Make sure rules are posted and you read them LOTS (we have them on fridge and they are read before breakfast, before lunch, and after supper for the first few weeks). We do time-outs and have rewards for good behavior.

HOWEVER...I have disrupted a placement. The child was also 5 and he could be manipulative and had anger management issues as well as refused to share his things while expecting everyone else to share with him. He did not act out against my 2 yr old until after we had requested he be moved. His anger was directed at my 14 yr old. I guess he thought the 14 yr old would take it (which he did because he is a kind young man who would not fight with someone 1/3 of his age). It stressed my 14 yr old out though to be constantly under attack and not be able to lash back .....so he retreated and stayed in his room ALOT.

Our FS anger issues arose with time and his frustration over being in care and his mother's lack of visits and contact. He was smart and understood that his chances of going home were not good with the way things were going. We had him for 7 months and only the last two were hard. That last month we made the request and they waited until the last minute to find a new home and gave him no transition time. So if you DO decide to disrupt, give the CW some time to find a suitable home and request transition time (but don't expect it). You will need to give a firm date that they will need to be moved by or the CW will drag feet.

I finally said "At no time will someone else's child's needs come before the needs of the children I brought into this world." I had said something similar to myself while teaching and finding myself working all hours of the night on lesson plans and grading papers and spending little time with my kiddos..........so I just applied it here as well.

I loved this FS, but I am foster only and he was going to need an adoptive home as things were unfolding. He was going to be going to a new family eventually anyway BUT my boys would always be in THIS family and were depending upon me to make their home a safe haven that they WANTED to come home to.

We open our homes to other children in need, but we never need to let them make our own children miserable in their own home or dread coming into their own house.

Good Luck! PM if you want to vent some more.

Kim