[kindredspirit]

I agree with most of the posts above, the decision will be one of the hardest you will ever go through. Since you are still in contact with the father, his has the right to be heard too.

As a birthmother, I too was offered by my parents to adopt my son. I gave it consideration just like all my other choices and found that it was not what I thought would be best for my son nor myself.

Years later, my parents raised my other sisters kids because she did not want them anymore. I saw the struggle my parents went through raising my nephew and neices and knew I made the right choice.

My Dad has gone to heaven now and my sister had to take her kids back. In a way I feel the stress took his life early.

As adoption - open, semi-open or closed is very hard and years later, the pain is still there but I turly feel I did what was best for him and myself. Yes, some adoptive parents will tell you anything to have a chance at a baby, that is why it is so important to build a realtionsip before you go through with it. You have time and hold your baby first and let his father hold him too.

As to my family forgiving me, yes they did and as a matter of fact, my dad and I became closer than we ever were before he passed away. And he even told me that he finialy understood what I went though and would have supported me no matter what.

I do know of some relative adoptive family that do work but it is yours and the fathers decision not anyone elses.


Take your time and listen to your heart.

Good Luck!!