For me I freaked out when I was told I had to use an egg donor. I guess the genetic issue was much bigger for me than the pregnancy issue because after that we went immediately on the adoption path even though there was still a good chance I could carry a baby to term (after surgery).
I get sad that E doesn't have sibs who live with us though. I get sad that I couldn't have a larger family. I get sad but I'm not bitter anymore. I can't be I have too much to be grateful for now.
But man I did NOT think life was fair for a long long time (esp. after miscarriage and failed placement). Wait maybe I am bitter! I was just thinking about something and feeling slightly bitter!
I think I may be bitter that I did not get to enjoy the early months because that failed placement just ruined me temporarily. No nursery, no showers, I was scared of EVERYTHING. I'm bitter about the failed placement I mean I had already been through so much. What the heck was the point of putting me through THAT!?
wow where did that come from?
