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Our last visit also ended with some guilt over the lack of visits, too. You would like to give more, but it's tough.
Sometimes my DH tries to play the "blame game" about visits too. I told him flat out that he is not helping and that he cannot leave all the adoption-related communication to me and then blame me when something upsetting happens! You and your DH should try to get on the same page, that way when you talk to your DD’s b-mom you could present a united front. Maybe she is more willing to come to you with what’s going on because she hopes you might “give in.” If you presented things as “DH and I were talking and decided…” then she will know that you guys are going to discuss and be unified in your decisions regarding what is best for your DD. I’m not saying she is purposely trying to manipulate you, but maybe subconsciously, see knows you are more willing to say, “we should visit more,” than if she brought it up with both of you.
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