[loveajax]

We had a visit with DD's birth parents and sisters a little over a month ago (remember, DD's sisters do not know that she is their sister). I thought it was a great visit (though there were some odd things too). In any event, after the visit I emailed pix back and forth to DD's birth mom. I was a little late getting our quarterly update to her so I sent her an email apologizing and telling her my dad was in the hospital, etc.

I usually hear from her after I send an update but didn't hear anything (it's been about a month).

I got an email from her yesterday in which she asked how everyone was doing and said she had been quiet because she needed time to heal after the visit (that I get). But then she said, "[Oldest DD] has cried like ten times since then wanting to see [my DD] and says it's my fault she can't see her. And [younger DD] keeps looking so much like her."

I felt so sad, but then I just got kind of angry because I feel like she is A) lying about her oldest DD's reaction (why would she cry about a kid she sees once a year and doesn't know is her sister...too weird...) and B) being manipulative (wanting more visits by making me feel like her kid is sad). DH is apoplectic and now has said sort of "I told you so..." (He only wanted to stick exactly to our original OA agreement).

Before you ask why not more visits, well...it's not happening (partially because of DH's wishes but partially because of my feelings on it but partially because of the "secret" aspect). So what the heck do I do or not do here? DH says that I shouldn't respond and I'm almost tempted not to (and just give our quarterly update which is due in like 6 weeks). I really don't even know HOW to respond to something like this, you know? If I was going to be honest, I would say, "I'm sorry you are sad but I feel like you are also being manipulative and please stop." (That would go over well, eh?). Any advice is really appreciated.