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Originally Posted by tvs4
I think a lot of the issues could be cleared up or at least lessened if the court system was quicker and there were more resources for social services. Part of the reason foster parents get so emotionally attached to children who are in thier care is that the children are in their care for YEARS! how not to attach? how not to feel they are somehow now "yours"? There is no good reason (except money that it takes) for agencies/CWs/SWs not to track down children's families when children are first put into care. Then families could be given the choice to do the work and to have the child moved to their care. I know they say they are looking for family but honestly with the internet and open source information and a private detective you could find family members a heck of a lot sooner. Also, I think when parents have thier children taken into foster care there should be INTENSIVE services offered to the parents for 6 months. Give them access to every tool they need to succeed. I think at the end of 6 months you'd have a pretty good idea of which parents were going to succeed and which were going to - for whatever reason - not succeed. Those making progress continue to get services and RU is the plan. Those that don't take advantage of the services or make little progress have the kids go to family or non-family that looks like it is a good fit for the child. I think this would be much more fair to the kids and the parents. The parents would be given access to every service possible (job training, child development classes, parenting classes, psych help, drug treatment, etc) and the kids would hopefully get out of foster care faster or placed with family faster or placed in a permamant home faster. The problem, like so many other problems is money - but I think that it might not be as expensive as you think since you'd be offering more intensive services but for hopefully a shorter period of time and to a pool of people who are likely to excel once they have those services rather than throwing some sporatic services to the whole pool of people for years.
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You are so right. In my situation, bmom was given a list of things to do and told go do it. That was it. This was a dysfunctional substance abuser who had struggled all her life with drugs and bipolar disorder--long history of petty crime and prostitution. And social services expected her to get herself together on her own. This story is repeated all over the United States.
Add to that the lazy social worker who was told about dh and I who live in Hawaii (kids in Florida) by our son's 15 yr. old bio sister the DAY they were taken into care. He dismissed us--never made any effort, not one call. We heard about the situation through the family grapevine, as the dysfunctional birthparents sure weren't going to call and tell us they lost their children.
We trusted the system, figured they'd call us if we were needed, and after six months we finally called them. The social worker was still resistant to even consider us, and I had to get in touch with my inner b**** to get him to start the process.
All the agony and broken hearts could have been avoided if our ICPC had been started right away. Then we would have been ready when it became obvious that bmom was never going to get it together enough to parent this child. BTW, bdad is my BIL and was in jail most of the time ason was in foster care.
Again, the idea of intensive services is the answer!!!! I would vote for a tax increase for that!