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Originally Posted by spicedmama

As a recent "graduate" of MAPP, I sometimes find it difficult that folks forget that the purpose of foster care is to have a safe haven for the child to be placed while the adults work on REUNIFICATION. If reunification is not appropriate then it's biological family placement, and/or foster/adopt. I am very surprised to hear about the Florida law because anyone who has struggled with and through the ICPC process knows that 6 months is a drop in the bucket. It's nothing. ICPC is a very long process, and the biological relatives who fight through it's maze are amazing folks. And believe me, they fight. I think it's as bad as natural childbirth. It's awful. In the time it takes for the ICPC to be finalized I would want the child to bond with their foster family. We were taught in MAPP that they should bond with you, but foster parents should not forget that they are foster and that the child was placed in their homes to be cared for until they can be REUNIFIED with their biological families. (I am speaking about foster only families).

I think for those that have a problem with the word "Reunification," then you must address that while in your Foster Care Training, because it's a word that is used quite often. You can't dismiss it because now you have a child in your home that you have bonded it with, (and good for you because that is your job as a foster parent). And those of us who have had Foster Care training, (i.e. MAPP, etc.), you know that "Reunification" is used in conjunction with BIOLOGICAL FAMILY, (be it parents, and/or "kin"). For those children who are to be placed with biological family and/or "kin" who have possibly had very little contact with the child, and you, (the foster parent), have had the most time with the child, you are still responsible for knowing your place as a FOSTER family. You know when going into this position that FOSTERING is temporary, (and again, I am talking about foster only families). Why not try and seek to build a relationship with the "kin" so that you can continue to remain a part of the child's support system. And, if it so happens, (and it does), that the "kin" does not want a relationship with you then, we must accept that that is a part of FOSTERING too.

I believe this is the lecture I was referring to. And yes, in it, you seem to be telling us HOW to foster.....as if you know. I do encourage "wannabes" but I do not suggest they start spewing advice until they have lived through some of it. You see, many of us have had children in our home longer than you have been going through the ICPC process. We have seen the misery they are in and the misery their bio parents can cause. We live it. So to have someone who is taking in relatives (most certainly not the same as taking in children you know nothing about at 2am) and doesn't appear to be intending on actually FOSTERING to begin to comment on how we should do our "job" is a little aggravating to say the least. Your previous posts on other threads have said things like "regretfully, I am NOT fostering for money". Are the rest of us? You went on to say you would be needing help with daycare and needed the Medicaid. So I guess you are doing it just like we are. Then you went on to talk about lack of space in your home and your concern on whether there was room for the two children you are wanting to care for. So I am assuming you will not be fostering anymore children once these two are in your home. So that was your purpose of MAPP. A way different perspective than those who do it for multiple children for multiple years. Don't you think?


Kim