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Originally Posted by MamaS
But is it better for the child to be raised by a "blood relative" who only wants the child for the social security check or for two strangers who let their lives be poked and prodded and snooped into by caseworkers and law enforcement, who spent thousands of dollars on agencies, lawyers, homestudies, etc. because they wanted to provide a loving home for a child/children?
Any time anyone comes on this board and mentions that they are thinking about placing a child in an adoptive home someone is going to say:
Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. and Your child will wonder why no one in his/her biofamily wanted him/her.
To my old-fashioned way of thinking a child is NOT a temporary problem, it is a life-time commitment.
I have also known many birthfamilies who wanted to keep babies in the family for reasons other than love -- for financial incentives, to "punish" the birthmother with a constant reminder of her "sin", to prove their Christian "forgiveness" of their wayward daughter, or because grandmother can no longer have children and wants to use daughter as a surrogate. I won't even go into biofathers who don't want to parent but refuse to sign adoption papers because they want to punish the girl for breaking up with them. Like children with a ball ---'if you don't play my way I'm taking my ball and going home' -- forgive me, but I think the life of a child is more important that that.
I know what I am saying is not popular, but I hate to see children being treated as possessions to be kept instead of precious blessings to be cared for and cherished.
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I have no answer for you other than it's awful for people to use this system for money, blood relative or not. I know for every blood relative accused of this, there can be an accusation against a foster family for the same thing. It's all awful. It's all ugly. I just hate the "us" vs. "them," comments. It makes me feel bad and feel sad, when we are all here for foster support, (at least I hope we are all here for support).
I am here for support. There is much I don't know, and much I have to learn. I just don't want to feel like this is not a place where I can come and talk about what I have learned and what I do know. I hope that I can help someone out there too, as I am being helped by reading through tons of these posts weekly. I have learned so much from so many of you all. God bless those of you who have been so helpful to me. I appreciate it. And who knows, some day, I may step outside of relative foster care and into the regular trenches of foster care, (if I get my license, lol). I have a lot of interest in respite, and emergency care.
God Bless!