[carolynppk]

I am taking the advice of one of the moderators here, and I am stepping outside of my box, so to speak, and posting in a different forum than I am used to. I hope I do not step on any toes, that is definately NOT my intent.

First and foremost, let me say this is for MY own personal experience. I have not ever experienced anything else, so I cannot pretend to know what the other side is like, so please know when reading this, I am ONLY speaking for MYSELF and of MY situation. Again, I do not mean to offend.

I am an adoptee. I was adopted when I was several days old back in 1965, so yep, I had a closed adoption. I have reunited with my bmother and have a pretty good relationship with her. Adoption was a positive experience for me and I love my parents with all my heart. While I had a closed adoption, my amom always instilled in me that my bmom loved me very much, from that I have always grown up loving her.

For myself, my amom and my bmom (we have talked about this) We are all glad to have had a closed adoption for us. Does this mean open adoptions are wrong? No, I am just saying for me, I grew up with one family. I didn't give tons of thought to my biological family. For myself and myself only, I do think it would be hard and somewhat confusing. Does it mean all kids feel that way, no. I am just saying how I felt. Kind of like divorce. My parents were not divorced and I could not imagine going back and forth between two homes, but many do and do so wonderfully, maybe even better than if the parents stayed together.

WHat I do wish though about closed adoptions is that there has to be some "bank" of information so to speak so that you can get medical information and you can do all of it without telling who you are if you still do not want contact. But if you do then you don't have to do all this searching. I know that there are the registries, but I think this should be more mandatory. If you are choosing closed adoption, you must agree to provide information like every year. (For example health)

That is just my own opinion. I think what is most important is finding a match between both sets of parents. There are some where both want closed, others where both want open. And whatever they decide together is all that is important.

Again, I hope I didn't offend. I was just saying how I felt growing up in a closed adoption. Thanks for letting me come into a new forum.

Carolyn