[fostermomintx]

"I think for those that have a problem with the word "Reunification," then you must address that while in your Foster Care Training, because it's a word that is used quite often. You can't dismiss it because now you have a child in your home that you have bonded it with, (and good for you because that is your job as a foster parent). And those of us who have had Foster Care training, (i.e. MAPP, etc.), you know that "Reunification" is used in conjunction with BIOLOGICAL FAMILY, (be it parents, and/or "kin"). For those children who are to be placed with biological family and/or "kin" who have possibly had very little contact with the child, and you, (the foster parent), have had the most time with the child, you are still responsible for knowing your place as a FOSTER family"

As seasoned foster parents we all know from the beginning our role as foster parents and do not need to be told by someone who hasn't even completed the license process yet and had a child in their care (relative or not). When you go through this process you see that these are living, breathing human beings and not just pawns to be shuffled around and treated as possessions by biological families. If children have connections to other family members and they are willing, able and approved through a home study to take these young relatives quickly then that is great. But to watch biological parents fail to do their plan, fail to seek relatives that might be willing to raise these children (until the very last minute before TPR happens), then it does fall to the foster parents, who not only open up their hearts and homes to these kids but also rearrange our whole lives to accommodate this change, i.e. no vacations unless you get permission to take them with you, finding respite care, if possible, while you go on vacation, asking for permission to get the child a haircut, etc. So don't go telling us "our place as Foster families", we know our role but these kids are the most important factor in this whole scenario and don't fault us for wanting what is best for the children and NOT for the biological families. We are talking about adults who have the ability to choose their lives and how they choose to run or ruin them, the children should not be the ones who get caught up in their bioparents dysfunctional lifestyles...

Try having a child in your care for awhile and see what you think about it after you've seen children exposed to drugs (in utero) and have to withdraw before your very eyes. They are the ones who suffer not the bioparents and they didn't choose this drug exposure that will most likely have some affect on them as they grow older. And when the biological parents, who make their children wait for years (by not doing their plan or not finding relatives at the start to take their kids), choose to be selfish and not see what is in the best interest of their child(ren) all while their children are bonding and attaching to non-relatives who love them nevertheless...so let's just keep them in the family because they are blood related makes no sense at all. It seems to always be in the best interest of the adults, NOT the kids.

Walk a mile in our shoes before you pass judgment on "Foster Families"...