Janeytwo
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Also, it could be that as she witnesses you grieving your mom, it may bring up her issues of grief over you; issues that have been long buried. It may be that she's hiding that pain from herself even though she may have told you (and herself) that she's dealt with it.
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And she may not be able to ever sort this stuff.. 1965 and sixteen.. whew..
A time for shutting down.. all of it..
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If you bmom is a private person then the thought of losing control of her emotions may be driving her to distance herself. Also, there may be the underlying fear of making any mistakes with you at this difficult time that she feels may ruin what the two of you have.
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The last time I spoke on the phone with my bson was when I asked him about his parents and how they were..
We have never really discussed them.. I know I have tried but I wonder if he has tried and I have blocked it.. I do not actually know..
But ohhh but.. There is a cliff here for me.. an intimacy with my bson I can not bridge.. deal with..
Carolyn
I say give her time.. Its trauma coming up and she is shutting it down to me..
I am soooo good at shutting it down on terms of my bson.. Its automatic.. its places I do not want to go emotionally..
Janey is just heading into reunion and is all over the place and IMO needs to do reunion.. I did it.. I sought and found and dealt with it..
But now.. I need to be helped.. helped by letting me be on terms of him..
I do not know if this makes sense.. and I am not your birthmom.. and if my bson was making the effort I would work on my emotions towards him.. but he is not.. so that’s okay..
Let her pretend it all away but stay in contact keep doing surface.. (<my suggestion)
Jackie