[kakuehl]

Yesterday I stopped at D's with my oldest grandson. He and D's stepson spent a couple hours outside playing which was great (any thing that my Grandson away from the computer is great!). D's parents were there helping take care of the kids since DIL is away for a week. (D was working from home and in his home office most of the time.) S and I stayed for dinner. I spent the time helping with the little ones and talking with D's parents. (1 grandparent figure per kid is a good ratio!)

I guess my point is this: after 3 years we've built a comfortable relationship. D's aparents are his parents and the grandparents of his children. I have had the opportunity to get to know them all and to get to watch the children grow. I am a part of their lives, but I have not replaced anyone.

As I think you can see, there are as many responses to reunion as there are relationships and adoptions. Many (adult) children have a need to express their independence. It's got to be especially scary for aparents when the young adult asserts his independence by starting a relationship with bparents. My advice is to remain as unanxious as possible, and let your child figure out how to be an adult "child."