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I am a bmom and I think that that would be a difficult time for someone when a parent dies. I may pull back because I would not want my bdaughter thinking I was trying to take over the place of her mom. I would want to give her space and not hover. Maybe this is what your bmom is feeling. It would be a tough time not to overstep any boundaries.
I hope the two of you can work it out. Be honest with her. Trying to guess what someone else is feeling only makes for mistakes to be made.
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