[swd]

We are adopting a baby who has been in foster care since birth. He's been placed with us as a temp foster placement until the birthmom's rights can be terminated, and then we'll adopt him. The birthmom is out of the picture for the forseeable future, and the birth-grandmother would like as much contact with her grandson as we're comfortable with. She's stated that she doesn't want that to stand in the way of his adoption, so if we want to cut all ties, she won't fight it.

We met her for the first time by accident. She seems like a nice lady, and really wants what's best for him. However, in providing a family history for him, she revealed that there is a LONG history of drug use in the family, including her. She appears to be clean now, but doesn't have a fixed address. She also told us she has another daughter a couple of hours away who would like to be an aunt to him!

Part of me would love for all of them to be involved on some level, and part of me is terrified they'll try to take him back into the family. His birthmom may or may not ever resurface, and we weren't too worried about her, but with the rest of the family (mom and sister, at least, who knows who else is out there?) wanting in, should we be concerned?

How do you decide what you're comfortable with??? On one hand, I'd love for him to have more family to love him and on the other, the unknown scares me to death.