[elledarcy]

When I mentioned I was adopting to a woman who works in another department (who I know vaguely through working on projects together) she said, “when my husband and I were 18 we placed our son for adoption. Now he’s 17 and we still write letters and see him for visits.” We talked a little about adoption after that and I was glad that she had shared with me. Perhaps she felt comfortable doing so because I knew a little about adoption and she wasn’t afraid I would “judge” her.

I had never thought of this woman as anything more than very accomplished, hard working, and intelligent, and, of course, I still do. I would imagine it would be very hard to decide where and when to talk about your birthmom status with others. I know I even question when I should tell people we are adoptive parents (because really, it’s nobody’s business anyway).

Even when we were in the process of adopting, I had female friends and relatives tell me, “I could never do that,” meaning relinquish a child. And I would say, “it’s because there are women who are able to do that, that a child will join our family.”