[elledarcy]

I love to think ahead, so even though DD is only 3 1/2 months old, we are already thinking about our next adoption. DH and I are both Caucasian and we said we would be open to a Caucasian or Hispanic child in this last go round. We really wanted to be open to a biracial child, but were afraid our families would not be supportive. My parents are good people, but I was also raised in a very racist household. My family has no problem using the N-word and generally degrading black people. Mind you this isn't an every day occurrence, but still. My FIL also taught in inner-city schools for 30+ years. Rather than giving him an appreciation for people of other races, it affirmed his views that poor, black children are stupid and classless. My DH has lots of brothers and sisters who probably wouldn't care one way or another what our child looked like. None of our friends would care either.

When we announced we were adopting, certain relatives kept asking if we were adopting a white child. "You're not going to adopt a black baby?" "You're not going to adopt a crack baby?" My family even made a few jokes about us being open to a Hispanic child until I put them in their place.

DH and I want to be open to a biracial child the next go round, but would it be wrong to bring a child into an environment like this? Not all our family members feel this way, but still, isn't family the place where you're supposed to feel secure in who you are? Would I constantly be correcting people? (I already have to do this on account of regular adoption issues) Would our child be made to feel inferior? Would our parents really open up and accept a child of a different race? Would we end up having to cut ties with certain people over their behavior? Would a biracial child feel left out in a family made up completely of crazy white people? I would never want our DD, who is white, to be favored or loved more than a second child because of color.

Are we risking the well-being of our future child? Our families aren't all that bad, but they use language and have attitudes that are offensive to us now and would be extremely unacceptable around a biracial child. I just wonder if I can reasonably expect them to change. Is just loving a child enough to make everything okay?